How do we manage to make time as husband and wife?
Introducing Khordelia, our daughter, into to our 8 year relationship, 5 of those years being married was the easiest thing to do! The hard part was making sure we made time for each other. We love doting on her, watching her, exploring the world with her, but those are all things focused around her. We were losing our relationship intimacy. Intimacy isn't just physical, but it is emotional, and as much as physical intimacy is important, emotional intimacy is more important. That is how the two of you connect and continue to grow together.
We make it a point to cook dinner together every night; we pick a recipe and cook it together splitting the work. After dinner, we sit down and pick a movie (right now, we are going through classic 70s, 80s, and 90s movies, varying from sci-fi - Alien - comedy - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - or drama - Delores Claiborn - this way we don't have to really think too much on what we want to watch. A lot of these movies we have seen a while ago, so not at all! We just decide what type of movie we feel like, and pick really quick! We fold laundry together, and will listen to a podcast together.
We co-sleep, and contact nap for the most part, so we don't get a lot of truly alone time. We just try to get Khora to stay asleep in her crib in the evening as long as she can, and we take that time as well! Even doing what we usually do, it feels different when you don't have Baby there with you.
On days off, Ryan will start breakfast for us, while I get Khora changed and ready for the day. When we join him, I will start some (decaf) coffee or hot water for tea. When we sit down for breaskfast at the dining table, we make that time - what we call - breakfast meeting. this means we discuss what we have done in the past week to improve our businesses and reach our goals. then we dicuss what our next steps are to meet goals or set new goals!
By doing these small every day life things together, we stay close and dont feel we are growing apart or lacking intimacy. Two of the biggest things we feel we have to focus on! spouses have to stay friends, be partners, and work together; without that you are just two different people living similar lives!